Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
