Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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