i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
