She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
