his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
