I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize