YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
