I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
