where does the pee come out of this thing
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
