I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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