It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
