Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
