Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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