and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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