the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
