Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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