she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
