Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
