i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
