did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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