It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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