I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
