More tranny stories later!
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
