I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
