He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
it's like iHOP with fire
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
