He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
