I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
