Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
