shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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