Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
