This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
