My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
