You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
