Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize