I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
