With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
