I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
