My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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