She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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