And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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