So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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