But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
