his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
