All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
