Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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