The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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