u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
