I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
