you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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