Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
