imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
