The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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