you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
