i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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