woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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