Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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