Whod you bang
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
